“Time to take your own advice, Georgia”. That’s what Brenda said when she showed up at my door one recent Sunday morning.
Eons ago – well, make that six years ago – I showed up at her door with the latest issue of The Atlantic Monthly clutched in my hot little hand. ) A foolish, weak man had tromped on her aorta big time. That wound needed major suturing.
Why did I think The Atlantic Monthly held the cure? Because the cover article was one of their thoroughly researched delvings into a topic, this one being the science and psychology behind the matchmaking processes of Match.com and EHarmony.
I handed the magazine to her and said, “ I’ve read this article. If I were single, this is what I’d do. How about giving it a try?”
Six years later, she’s the one who’s right as rain and it’s my aorta that needs serious repair. So there she stood with coffee and scones, saying, “Fire up your computer. Time to try some internet dating.”
She selected the photos for my profile and harangued me about the wording. I wrote:
I’m passionate about music, art, literature and the life of the mind. I value people who are intellectually curious and engaged in the world around them. I’m also passionate about social justice.
My favorite books are A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens and Portrait of a Lady by Henry James.
I bet you can imagine our back and forth tussle about that.
“Georgia, no one’s going to respond to that. Your first sentence alone will scare off most men.”
“I’m not looking for most men. The kind of men I like would find that all appealing. It’d be a turn on. Alan found it a turn on.”
“And he’s gone, isn’t he. Isn’t that just the point? You don’t want another Alan.”
I wouldn’t budge on those first three sentences. That’s who I am and that’s how I like being.
“How about if we add something just a little flirtatious, a bit of a feminine come on?” Brenda suggested.
This is what we added:
I’m also passionate about ice cream. I can’t get enough of that sweet, creamy richness melting sensuously in my mouth.
Close, but not quite, to the complete abandonment to pleasure I achieve around ice cream
What do you think? Does it work for you?
My mother, the Angel Ella, once reprimanded me, her adult daughter, for my love of ice cream. Her problem was with how I ate an ice cream cone in public.
“Georgia Stone, you stop that this instant!” she said. “That’s indecent!”
That bit didn’t go into my profile.
How did this work? Stay tuned.
Great item for the blog!! This will be of huge interest to many women!
But groan……You are serious!
Be very careful. When I did this I was apparently not careful enough with my profile and I was OVERWHELMED with hundreds of needy older men–all very looks conscious–your looks of course, not theirs.
I went out with a few, and am still communicating with one who lives in Wyoming, but found the whole process staggering. Many of them were seriously depressed.
Also, these organizations send you profiles of all men even remotely falling within your description (concerned with fitness can mean that he walks from the couch to the refrigerator). Worse, it was hard to figure out who actually was interested in my profile. I was expected to make the first move in most cases.
Let me know how this works out. Maybe you will figure out a better way to deal with those profiles than I did–but then I am known to be a bit impatient and guilty of shooting from the hip and did not have much time to give to the whole thing.
But I did see a few good movies…….
With great fondness,
The alternative “Brenda”
Hi Elaine: Time will tell if my luck is better than yours. Stay tuned.
I know too much about you already to form a new “first impression” based on that bit of text. But it sounds good enough to me.
Hi Richard: I hope some other men think so, too.
Greetings Georgia,
Even though Winter is approaching, for some unexplained reason, I have the strong desire to take you out for an ice cream cone.
I am really looking forward to part II……
BK
HI Big Fan: Today was almost summer warm. I would have loved a chocolate-dipped cone from Dairy Queen.
I wonder why many women I know said they felt like Match.com was like “shoveling.” But when they patiently shovel, they seem to hit pay dirt.
Hi Currious: Shoveling…..hmmmmmm. First time I heard it compared to that. We’ll see. Patience is not one of my virtues.
Chuckled at the ice cream bit, which has that delicate touch of clever, elegant sluttiness that works so well on the internet. I’m afraid Georgia was right. The problem is that many men you might otherwise like very much will read “life of the mind” and “social justice” and have very different notions about what these phrases mean. Might I make a suggestion? See if you can come up with two new sets of three sentences without using any of those words or phrases already listed. Only hazarding a guess, but I’ll bet no three sentences adequately describe you anyway.
the life of the mind. I value people who are intellectually curious and engaged in the world around them. I’m also passionate about social justice.
Hi Robert: You’d think as someone who likes to write, I’d find it a breeze to write an internet profile. But no, I’m at a loss. I’ll give your suggestion some thought and see what I come up with.