I spent the last two weeks immersing myself in the blogoshere. Know what I learned? If I want readers, I need to tell people what to do.
I need to tell you how to grow tomatoes, grind your own baby food, knit an afghan, photograph a field of sunflowers in southern France, start a new business, change the oil in your car.
How could I be so dense? All these postings I’ve sent off to you, and I’v never told you how to do anything.
Know what else I learned? If I want lots of readers, I need to tell you what to do in the kitchen. Not only what to cook and how to do it, but which specialty machines and rare utensils to use while you do it.
I need to morph into a combination of Julia Child and Martha Stewart.
“What’s the problem with that, Georgia?” you sensibly ask me. “You’re intelligent, aren’t you? You’ve proven to me that you’re adaptable,” you kindly add.
I like to think I’m both. What I’m not is a cook. I could not possibly be less interested in the process of changing raw food into anything edible.
But here it goes, here’s my effort to step on that path trodden so successfully by Julia and Martha.
How to Pop Popcorn
by Georgia Stone
- The first step is to gather your ingredients and utensils. My popcorn pan is well seasoned, having been used for this purpose, and none other, since the 1970’s. The bowl dates from the same period.
Pour in enough oil (not olive oil) to cover the bottom of the pan. Throw in 3 kernels of corn and put the lid on the pan. When those three kernels have popped, the oil is hot enough to add the rest of the unpopped popcorn
Pour approximately one cup of popcorn kernels into the pan.
Shake the pan back and forth a bit to keep the kernels and oil evenly distributed.
I added more than approximately 1 cup for the demonstration. This was done on purpose, of course, to show you that you can make a mess even while popping popcorn, if you put too many kernels in your pan.
Add salt to taste.
Pour the butter that you’ve melted in your battered, abused vintage pan onto the warm popcorn.
Mix well. Note that this step offers another opportunity to make a mess.
We are now at the last, most important step; eating the popcorn. No one, other than a member of the Stone family, has ever tried my popcorn-eating technique. No distant relative, no close bosom buddy, no lover, not even my husband of 25 years, has ever placed their serving of popcorn in a small bowl, poured in just a bit of milk and eaten it with a spoon, like cereal. It’s so good, culinary delight. Will you join me in a bowl?
Would you like me to tell you how to do something else?
Very funny!
Hi Julie: You think I’m kidding about the milk, don’t you?
Very funny Georgia. I come here for the type of post you’ve done so well in the past. Real life stories of attempted romance, successful or not.
If you must dwell on food, look at how it’s done in the movie 9 1/2 weeks.
Oh Richard, that movie….. I haven’t seen it in a long, long time, but yes, I remember many things about it, including food.
Mmmmmmmm…..pour one for me!!!
Hi Justpast30: In other words, you’re not going to try it either, are you?
Do you need to be hungry to try this? I love popcorn. But my version is sweet or salty.
Hi Currious: You don’t have to be hungry. You just have to be curious.
I am ROTFL. That was funny.
Translation, please
OMG…you did know I was “Rolling on the Floor Laughing.”
Nope
Oh my gosh! You’re not kidding are you? Milk? OK, I’m game. How about another one?
Hi Elaine: I am 100% serious. Please report back on the results of your taste test.
You want another recipe from me? You must be an adventurous lass.
Wow Georgia! I never would have guessed that you eat popcorn with milk.
Interesting!! Remind me to never share popcorn with you at a movie.
Next… changing the oil in your car while eating popcorn.
Hi Michelle: This is just one of many deep secrets lurking beneath my bland facade. I am exactly the devious sort who would smuggle a carton of milk into the movie theater.
I do believe the Vixen has missed her calling. From this moment on, we the readers, cry out for more recipes and, better yet, please throw in some knitting patterns!!
Thanks for the laugh Georgia.
BF
Hi Big Fan: The ladies of the French Revolution knit while watching heads fall from the quillotine. Perhas this cycle of writing will end with me knitting while watching my readers writhe with stomach cramps after following my recipes.
the pictures were as great as the story line
how about letting readers know how you cook corn on the cob
there are so many variations on that simple task
Hi Suzanne: How did you know I love corn on the cob? What is of more note than how I cook it is how I eat it, because it ends up all over me, in my hair, between my toes, nestled in my bra…..